thoughts flow ...
right now it's so much happening, so much going through. Some moments, you feel as the luckiest person in the world, and then shortly afterwards lie down at the bottom. Everything goes up and down, drag one to the right and left, twist and turn. Joy and happiness is mixed with doubt and uncertainty. Everywhere I turn so met I the pressure, expectations and requirements. Inside a gnawing anxiety over even one that, for each day that passes, the closer and closer to the end of what has been even everyday for such a long time, and everything you want is to put everything aside to take care of the last time you have. While counting down the days to this end. The end that will be a beginning of something entirely new, it will be the biggest change I've ever been through. But even this takes the uncertainty over. Far up ahead a glimpse of it an intersection. Suddenly flows will be shown, secure way to always followed in countless different ways. There are so many options, and just the thought of the days when one must choose one without the millions of roads approaching makes one sick. All of a sudden want to rewind time, to when it was far too small to make these kinds of decisions. The decisions which impact on how the rest out of your life will be like. Wherever you search, you find you do not answer. Everything that determine one's own will. A will that either do not exist at all, or that there are far too many of.

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